feelings

M O T H E R N A T U R E

Posted & filed under Lifestyle Edit.

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Okay, so just before mother nature hits, I (well, I say I, its really my husband who has) noticed a pattern in my general behaviour. Looking back on it after last nights fiasco I feel somewhat slightly embarrassed and confused. In writing this I hope that to find other ladies who either go through the same shiz as me and can totally empathise or can tell me to stop behaving like a brat. The last few days heading towards mother natures call I become extremely spendy, more than usual…now that is dangerous. I don’t know what provokes it, I spend all my wages on things that I just don’t need. Even now, writing a couple of sentences has taken a few hours because I am constantly being distracted by the likes of ASOS and lastminute.com (looking for holidays to Lake Garda, any recommendations?)

As if money spending was the only problem. I also become very angry and stubborn. Imagine a 5 year old who didn’t get those shiney shoes she wanted and is now throwing a strop – that was me. Last night. Over what I hear you ask – a mojito, the mocktail kind. I wanted some juice, there was none left and that was it. It legitimately upset me so much so that I was actually sulking last night. Like a primary school child! Let me tell you, looking back I now see how embarrassing  it was and my husband laughed at me for a bit and as I continued to lay there – on the floor with my duvet, refusing to go to sleep on an actual bed. He decided he’d sit there and sulk with me. My heart/mind (not sure which one) was telling me to STOP IT and grow up but I couldn’t. I finally gave up at 4am and went to bed. This morning I’ve woken up with a very bad headache and a bad mood due to the lack of sleep. I need to devise a plan which will help me see some sense in the worst of times and stop behaving like the worlds worse wife.

This is what I intend to do:

S T E P    O N E

Take a breather – if I feel angry/annoyed I need to go for a walk, get some fresh air. Hopefully the cold weather can slap some sense into me.

S T E P    T W O

Focus mind on something else. When I get in a mood I need to focus on my blog. It always seems to cheers me up. Watching YouTube tends to also keep. Keeping my laptop close to me at all times.

S T E P    T H R E E

Sleep. This has always helped. When I’m feeling agitated I force myself to sleep and I wake up with immense sense of refreshed mind and body. Naps galore 

 

I have no idea if any of these steps will work or help but at least I’m trying right? A part of me does think that it’s natures doing so perhaps I should just let it take its course and let my mood swings continue, but it seems to be getting out of hand lately. So ladies, over to you…do you ever go through these phases in life or am I just being a tad spoilt?

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Life lessons

Posted & filed under Lifestyle Edit.

I don’t have an older sister, an aunt, or any older cousins who I could speak to on a regular basis when growing up. A part of me wishes that I could’ve more prepared or was given advice on the little things in life. However time has elapsed, I’m older, hopefully a little wiser and I thought I would share some of my life lessons with you.

Sometimes letting go is really the best thing
When you’re in school you may feel like leaving your friends is the most awful thing that could ever happen to you, you begin to hate the school system, the government and ultimately your class teacher (as if it’s their fault?!) I’ve been on both ends, as a student I felt like that when I was choosing my options at school – if you’re not familiar with the UK schooling system age 14-16 you get to pick 3 subjects which are from the creative/humanities category like Art or History. Any who I remember when I was 14 the worst thing was being separated from the only two friends I had. We all chose the same GCSE options but were separated into different classes. No actually, they were put together and I was on my own. As a teacher I now understand that the class teacher has nothing to do with this, it’s just how things fall in place. But if it wasn’t for me being alone in my lessons, I wouldn’t have learnt to let go and meet new people in school. Then when I went college, I knew nobody. My friends had gone off in different pathways – again quite a hard time for me but I learnt to let go and meet new people! And then you’ve got your relationship. You’re first serious relationship, if it’s not going right, there’s arguments and you spend most nights crying yourself to sleep then you need to let go. And saying goodbye to you’re first love is so hard. But the saying ‘if it’s meant to be, it will be’ there is some truth in that. Okay, so things don’t magically fix themselves, but you trying to work on something that doesn’t ultimately make you happy is only going to make you feel down and depressed. Let it go. *cue in Frozen song*

Be independent
This sort of links with my last point – being alone can be the scariest thing when you’re young (or even as an adult) the last thing most people want is to end up alone. However sometimes staying with your thoughts can be helpful. Especially when you’re having a chaotic time, the best remedy is you, yourself and some fresh air. For me, a quick jog, a walk in the park just helps me to clear my mind up. Give yourself some TLC.

Save ze dolla’
Okay, so this was something my mother told me time and time again. But I didn’t listen, typical teenager. I was lucky enough to have a job I bloody loved at 18 and was really good at! I worked as a skincare consultant for a mahusive company, the ladies were amazing (and money was  good) but I didn’t save a penny! I don’t even know why, I never had a crazy party life, never really went to bars or clubs. I travelled a little bit (not half as much as I would have liked) but most of my money went on clothes. Clothes that I haven’t even worn yet, 8 years later they’re in my cupboard with the price-tags still on and I just can’t seem to get myself to throw them away. Biggest regret ever! If you’re earning, save a little, save a lot. Just save.

Travel
Oh man do I regret not travelling, being in uni, meant that I had long summer holidays and I was earning which meant that I had the availability and money to book tickets for a quick break across europe and take advantage of cheap flight. Why didn’t I do this? Now I’m teaching (which I’m lucky enough to love) and ticket prices are triple what they would be during term time. Travel as much as you can. Doesn’t even have to be far – it can be down to the next city, just get out!

Love thy parents
So this is the biggie. You see, as you get older, you begin to appreciate the smaller things that your parents do for you. The food, the smiles, the hugs, the reassurance. All the tiny things that nobody in this planet would do for you, your parents fulfil and they become so much more valued. For personal reasons I held grudges against my parents for a long time – far too long. And one horrible, life threatening incident where I almost lost my mum made me realise that I would never be able to take back the hurtful things I said, the silence that I gave. When my mum laid in ICU on life support I prayed so hard, I prayed for my mum to open her eyes and tell me it’s okay. I wanted to say sorry. Sorry for being a selfish bitch. Sorry for acting like a spoilt brat. Weeks went by and my mum got better, we’re in a much better place and I appreciate the fact that I’m very lucky to be given a second chance, not everyone is lucky enough to get one. If you have read this and if there’s one thing you can take away from this, and tell someone who is dear to you that you love them. Especially you’re parents. *off I go for a cry…*

LIFELESSONS

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H & M Home

Posted & filed under Lifestyle Edit.

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Who knew H & M home was so nice?! Not only is it modern and chic, it’s also very affordable. However not all stores have a homeware section so you may be left searching online – which is what I have spent most of my morning doing. I’ve become a bit of H & M home cray and brought quite a bit, evidence is in my home haul video here. Hopefully I’ll be moving (again) and have a bigger place which inevitably means more space (for junk!) I created, shall we call it a mood board, with all the bits and pieces that are on my ‘to get’ list. Somehow really excited about the stapled goods pillow case and the mini plates. I’m hoping to keep lots of glass jars/vases together on a coffee table – maybe even store it on this gold tray? I usually stray away from gold, however the tray and gold basket really caught my eye and can see some good uses with it (use it to display makeup mainly!)

On another note, this cabinet from the Bourbon Vintage collection on made.com that I blogged about is now on sale and I may have made a sneaky little purchase. I really don’t have any space to store it, may have to keep it at my mums till I move out – but I am extremely looking forward to getting it. Well and truly homeware obsessed – where do you love to shop for home bits?

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Quick Bagel

Posted & filed under Lifestyle Edit.

In no shape or form is this blog trying to be a foodie blog, anyone who knows me or who has ever met me will know that I can barely make a good cup of tea. However I can do a mean bit of bbq. During Christmas holidays I found myself brunching on a quick snack but it was relatively filling and quite good - if I do say so myself.

I have extremely weird taste buds, what tastes good to me will most likely not taste nice to the person next to me. However the husband really approved this little snack and said he’d even have it again!

SO here it is, the spicy hummus & turkey bagel. I couldn’t think of a more creative name.

I have tried a lot of bagels and this is by far my favourite, the red onion and chives one, you get a really nice bit of flavour. So how do I cook my infamous snack you ask?

 Toast the bagel, I don’t put butter in mine.

Layer on some spicy hummus, (the best kind) and then I slice 2 turkey pieces and place them on each bagel.

That’s it. Literally. You could alternate the turkey for some sliced salami, add some gherkins or cucumbers. It’s a really quick easy meal and if I can do it, anyone can.

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Do you have any other quick food tips?

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IKEA lusting

Posted & filed under Lifestyle Edit.

If you have seen my last home haul it’s becoming clear that I’m slowly starting to steer away from beauty (what?!) and getting more excited about rugs and cushions – crazy times, I know. Ikea is usually a disappointment, their storage is quite good but I can’t help and feel that everyone under the sun would have the same home furnishing. Nevertheless I’ve managed to find 5 things that I really want. The most exciting being the rug – what is happening to me? The second fav’ being the mirror, I can imagine this sitting in my hallway quite nicely. I also think that all items are all reasonably priced, and I just realised that they’re all monochrome. Have you seen anything in Ikea that’s a must?

Ikea wishlist

 

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Healthy mindset

Posted & filed under Lifestyle Edit.

Christmas holidays are coming to an end. I’ve had two weeks of pure indulgence – eating chocolates and cakes whilst making very little movement. Even as I type I’m sat on my living room floor, eating a large packet of Galaxy counters, my mind says put them away yet my fingers can’t stop putting them in my mouth.

Over indulgence in food and feeling crap has led me to writing this – it’s not meant to offend anyone, just my thoughts.

Every night for the past few days, I’ve laid in bed staying awake till 2am staring into space, listening to the odd car drive by and feeling really shit about myself. Well not me as a person but my physical appearance. During my early teen’s right up to mid-20’s I was a cross between size 6 and size 8 and I thought I was ‘fat’. I was so unhappy with my weight that spent my spare time doing random exercise, crunches, squats, Pilates. I did everything that I thought would potentially help me lose weight. I didn’t appreciate what I had – and no matter how slim I became it never seemed enough. Whenever someone commented ‘you’ve lost weight’ on their part it was probably a concerning comment as opposed to a congratulate one but I would gleam with pride and say ‘thank-you.’ Feeling quite proud of myself. I brought really nice dresses, (each one costing up to £150) but I didn’t have the confidence to wear it at the time – I wanted to be slimmer. I would even eat in small portions, deprive myself of all the things I wanted to eat and experiment with fad diets.

Around 25y/o, full-time job kicked in, family life become busier and exercise went out the window and it was okay for a while. Because I was content. Happier in my own skin. I was happier being a size 10 then I ever felt being a size 8 or size 6. However, now I’m 27 – oh my god. I despise so much of my body. My ever-growing love handles, my legs, my arms. This has led me to eating in a very unhealthy manner. I’ve stopped drinking water – coke (and the occasional non-concentrated, no bits, orange juice) has become the only drink I consume. 5 boxes of Ferroro Rochers, cupcakes, ice-cream, waffle. All eaten at an unhealthy amount in the last two weeks and as much as I would like to blame Christmas and family gatherings, my immediate family – more so my mother – is extremely healthy and believes in fresh foods and minimal sugar. So Christmas is definitely not an excuse for me. I know that I only have me to blame and to be honest it’s easier feeling sorry for yourself then to change a lifestyle.

When I would have days feeling crap about myself, I’d go to the local supermarket and spend £50 on junk-food. For the past few months I’ve had to ban myself and rely on my husband to buy food shopping – just to ensure to that I wouldn’t be tempted to buy unnecessary unhealthy food. But it’s safe to say this method hasn’t worked the last two weeks and it’s been an epic fail which has led me to this depressive state.

My family genetics work a bit like this, we’re born as big babies, and I mean big. I was 10lb 5oz, god bless my mum. Then most of our teen/adulthood years were slim, and at 30 boom – we put on a lot of weight, very quickly. Our metabolism goes from being super active to slug speed in an instant. With this knowledge I should stop eating the sugar and processed food. So I’ve decided today I’m making changes. From today I’m going to make more of a conscious effort to drink water, eat in healthy amounts and try to get back into my Pilates. I’m not really worried about losing weight – I just want to feel healthy.

Comfort eating may feel okay for a short amount of time but is it really worth it?

ETT

200 Posts | 1 Year

Posted & filed under Lifestyle Edit.

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200 blog-posts and very tiresome Boxing Day later I started to put life and humans in general into perspective. During the whirlwind of life I’ve completely bypassed the fact that I’ve been blogging for a year…a whole bloody year. For someone who struggles to fully commit to anything and lacks concentration – it’s pretty good going. Whilst trailing twitter on Christmas day, all I saw were heaps and heaps of sale tweets. I’m pretty sure I did a sale post last year and I was definitely at Bluewater shopping centre at 7am last year. Yes, I was one of those people. But when it occurred to me this year that I still have clothes from the past 2 Boxing Day sales ago I decided I would give it a miss.

In general sales have been pretty crappy this year, clothes that probably cost £5 to produce but labelled at £50 for branding, and then reduced to £40 (which isn’t really a sale, is it?) in my opinion is not worth waking up for. It took me a good few years to understand this.

It’s a shame that the human race feels the need to buy crap they don’t need, with money they don’t have – all for what? The ‘likes’ on their insta-photos? On Instagram I saw an insane amount of photos with the #blessed…feeling blessed? For a crummy perfume, trainers, a bloody lipstick? I love me a good lipstick but I sure as hell wouldn’t feel ‘blessed’ for having one. I do however, feel blessed to be able to go to work in a school and not worry about getting shot. I do feel blessed that I don’t have militaries tearing down homes and families. I do feel blessed that we don’t live in viciously disease effected environment. These are the things we should truly feel blessed about. *sigh* ok so this seems like a rant – it really is. How and when did society become so inhumane? Or was it always like this and I’ve just stepped outside the box to see what’s really happening?

Whilst I’m on a moan, I may as well talk about blogging for a year and the thing’s I’ve learnt. This post could go on for a very long time but I will sum up the main points.

Content vs followers.
When I first decided blogging, the first 3months, all I cared about was stats, how to increase them, socialising on all social media platforms possible. I was on google analytics every evening reviewing each post. It was exhausting and demotivating! I started to care less about my content – which led to me being unhappy in my little space. So the latter 6 months I decided to not care so much about follower numbers and or how many people read my posts and focus on content. If it’s just one, just one of you that genuinely enjoy my posts and share my thoughts well that’s perfectly okay. I am very happy with my small amount of followers (which seem quite a lot to me if I’m honest) who genuinely like my posts/vlogs. *virtual hugs to you reading right now*

Schedule tweets not posts
If blogging is a full-time job and you need to organise your posts just like I have to organise my lesson plans for my full time job, then that’s understandable. But I wanted my blog to be more organic. I tried the whole scheduling posts malarkey and I would schedule a post a week in advance and then completely forget about it – without feeling too much passion for it. Instead I blog as and when I like, and once the post is live I schedule tweets for that post. Obviously this method works for me, and I’m definitely not saying this is the only way to do it. It’s just my way.

Latest beauty trend
Renting in London made me realise that, I can’t afford every Charlotte Tilbury product under the sun and I have to prioritise to what I REALLY want as opposed to buying everything. It makes no sense for me to buy a shit load of lipsticks which I wouldn’t use (okay so sometimes this theory totally doesn’t work) but lately I have found myself buying home things – mirrors, home décor, rugs, shelves – as opposed to endless foundations which I hardly use.

Investment
Another thing I’ve learnt part of growing up is to invest! Invest in things which will last a long time, for me this year its been my 35mm 1.4 lense and my makeup brushes. Because these two things will last me a long time (I hope!) and they’re items I’ll get the most use out of.

Like I tell my students, if you work smart you can achieve so much. Just sort out your priorities.
On a happier note, this has been a fantastic year, blogging gives me freedom to be creative and keeps me sane from the chaos that I call life. I really hope you enjoyed my thoughts!

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John Lewis| Fusion Vibes

Posted & filed under Lifestyle Edit.

It’s official, my favourite past-time is – looking at things I wish a. I could afford, and b. have enough space to store. John Lewis is probably one of the first places I go to get inspiration. Sure, Ikea is affordable and amazing, but I feel like most of it is pretty generic. If you want your house to have a real sense of you, then exploring is a must. All items featured are from John Lewis home range and to me each item has a fusion of Asian culture due to the richness of materials and the colours and quality of materials. I’ve mention before in my previous post that white furniture emphasises space and helps create an illusion of larger spaces, however adding dark brown and reds can really give your home more warmer and welcoming feel. And you could still keep walls, bedding, and most furniture white if you wanted to, but these home furnishings would be the ‘cherry on the cake’ (I’m sure I’ve got that saying completely wrong) To be fair I feel like most of these items, (apart from the bench) are quite affordable.

So tell me which one of these is your favourite?

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1 John Lewis Peanut Box, Gold

2 John Lewis Hermia Bell Weave Ceiling Pendant

3 John Lewis Lacquer Bowl, Copper

4 John Lewis Elephant Candle, Gold

5 John Lewis Maharani Curved Bench        

 

 

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Home Lust

Posted & filed under Lifestyle Edit.

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Here I am, due it getting dark at stupid o’clock and my ring light leaving awful outlines in photographs, I have found myself browsing the net for hours just lusting at home-ware goods, only 3 things but three things that would set me back quite a few bob. Since my last Habitat post here I found myself browsing their website lusting after so many things and ultimately wishing I lived in a bigger, more spacious place. However there’s one thing I keep going back to, this wide leaning shelf with a 90cm width which almost 30cm bigger then the current shelf I have from Habitat. I have one gap in the living room where this would fit quite snug. At the moment my room is lit by lots (and lots) of tiny little fairy light, post-Christmas I don’t know how appropriate it will be to keep the fairy lights going. I need want a floor lamp that will take minimal space, the mixture of wood and metal work so well and it gives it a ‘floating’ and delicate feel.

Lastly, out of all the collections that made.com has to offer, the Vintage  Bourbon is my fave. There’s something about French-esque, distressed furniture which just screams out to me. The husband doesn’t see the logic in paying for furniture which looks half a century old. Can someone please explain this to him? I’m thinking of getting this distressed cabinet to put in the hallway – which currently resides a broken shoe wardrobe. I must say, these days I find myself getting more pleasure from home-ware sites as opposed to beauty/fashion buys. So let’s share, where do you find your best home buys?

Habitat lamp // Habitat shelf // Vintage Bourbon Cabinet

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Before You Qu:t

Posted & filed under Lifestyle Edit.

If you’re in further education, whether that’s university or college, you’ve done almost three months into the year. It might all be starting to get a bit much, the work over-load, late nights and the struggle of juggling a social life, work/uni life is all becoming a bit too real. A part of you may even consider giving up. I know I did.

I studied Architecture in 2009 – god that makes me feel old. In my last year of uni I was so close to giving it all up. Anyone studying within the arts would know it’s as much as it’s to do with talent and hard work, it’s also an unspoken competition. There is a lot of favouritism within certain lecturers/tutors. Probably not fair or right, but it happens. I clearly was not a tutor’s favourite, till this day I wonder why and what did I do to piss her off? There were comments from her ‘what are you doing studying Architecture? Have you ever thought of taking a fashion route?’ I wasn’t sure to feel flattered or insulted? Ever since I was 6 I decided I was going to study Architecture. Should you really be telling someone in their 3rd year of their degree that there chosen path – that they paid £3000 a year – was not for them? I was constantly put down in our one-to-one tutor sessions, hours of work was slayed. It’s safe to say that all of this left me feeling pretty crap and I was ready to quit. But this was my dream, to graduate as an Architect so I had to make changes. Now if you’re in a similar position where you feel like it’s time to give up, whether its college, university or work this may help.

Images featured are found from the net.

Time out;  take some time for yourself to just think about what is that you want to achieve – the long term plan. If its university – try and visualise putting on a gown and being proud of your achievements. If it’s work – imagine whether or not you want to excel within that field, is it fulfilling you? Being surrounded with people who seem like they’re on top of their game, whilst you’re trying to still get your shiz together, can make things worse. So pull yourself away from everything to just breathe.

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Prioritise; so you’ve got essays to write, deadlines to meet, may have social events coming up. All of it can be done if you organise your time. Schedule your working day – and it all sounds good but it means nothing if you don’t stick to the plan. If you say that you’re going to dedicate two hours on Friday evening, then that’s you have to do!

All-nighters; now if you’re nocturnal then all your creative juices will flow in the evening and that’s when you work at your most optimum level. I spent most of my uni time staying up late nights, but none of them would have been productive without pre-planning. Getting all my material and information together. Whether that’s reading material/research/references. Do some serious planning and organise your all-nighter.

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Optimistic; do not put yourself down. When you see others excel whilst you’re still trying to catch on. You may start to feel deflated, but that will have a knock on effect on your self-confidence. Stay positive. If’s it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

Reward yourself; I don’t think enough people do this, or maybe they do? Going to uni means a degree, but that’s 3 years down the line. I used to reward myself with a shopping trip or dining out. Whatever floats your boat – reward yourself for doing well. A pat on the back never hurt.

Despite everything if you are still feeling like it’s not for you and getting out is the answer for you then speak to someone for advice, whether that’s a university mentor, a parent, sibling, friend, or even a neighbour. Saying it out loud can help make it real and even if you don’t have a plan – it doesn’t matter. Sometimes the best things in life come unplanned.

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